When I started this journey, I had a little bit of the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” in mind. It’s the movie where Julia Roberts heals herself through travel, learning how to eat again in Italy, the power of prayer in India, and falling in love with a Brazilian man in Bali. I definitely didn’t do that like the movie though.

Eat: I will say as far as eating, I did not really go to the culinary hotspots like Italy and France. Where I started in Ireland, it was a “how many ways can we cook potatoes” game. Even so, I learned how to sit down and share a meal with others again. This was not something I felt I had time to do in my old life. I also ate some amazing meals and got to try a lot of new foods. I had Irish Soda bread, Scottish fudge, Brunost, Dutch cheese, fresh caught fish from the Fjord, Bavarian sausages, Spanish tapas, Risotto by a Hungarian Chef, and Gelato. I also sometimes ate plain tortillas, old tuna sandwiches from to-good-to-go, leftover hostel food, picked mold off lunchmeat, and had lots of instant coffee and gummy candies. It’s all about balance right?

Pray: I never quite found my spiritual awakening in a religious sanctuary the way Julia Roberts did. I did think about doing a work stay in a Buddhist meditation center, but when they told me I couldn’t play or listen to music, I did not think it was right for me (music is what keeps me grounded while traveling). I did find certain spiritual moments though…in the nature of the highlands and fjords, in the soft folk of an Irish trad session, in the Spanish sunsets and stars in Tenerife, in the kindness of strangers, in a Christmas Eve service in Berlin, in songwriting and playing guitar with others, and in the silent whisper somewhere that guided me home. I have gone to church 3 times in the past 5 months, but I don’t feel less spiritually connected. I do still think I could learn how to meditate though one day.

Love: WELP. I didn’t find my spicy European Romance. That’s ok. I didn’t try that hard if I am being completely honest. But I am letting this guide into where I am now. I think being home now is about love. At least, that is what I am focusing on.

I am not going to share much because its all so new and we’re just taking it day by day. For the past 72 hours, everything has happened really really fast and also painfully slow. I don’t know what the future holds. I do know that time is so much more precious for that fact. Brian isn’t the same, and I am scared. I also know he is scared. My family is scared. I want to spend every moment I can loving him and my family.