I knew I would resonate with this movie before I even went to see it. Inside Out 1 left me bawling in the movie theater. Inside Out 2 was the same. Pixar nailed it, and now I want to talk about it.

However, Riley just became a teenager, and now there are some new emotions moving in. One of which is Anxiety (DUN DUN DUN)

Sadly, the quirky orange character becomes increasingly controlling and irrational. Soon, Anxiety has drastically altered Riley’s “Sense of Self’. In fact, she throws that sense of self away, as well as the old emotions, believing she is THE ONLY ONE who can protect Riley. With anxiety in complete control, Riley begins distancing herself from her friends, lying, and even stealing.

This continues on until the climax, where Riley suffers a panic attack during the big hockey scrimmage. At this point, Riley’s sense of self is so altered, there is nothing for her to ground down into. Anxiety works herself into overdrive and then freezes, completely unable to help the situation. The whole scene is so beautifully depicted, and I know for many people who have suffered panic attacks, it is kind of difficult to watch.

For me, the most beautiful part is the let go. There is a moment Anxiety realizes she is not actually in control.With Joy’s help, Anxiety releases her grip. Riley’s sense of self is restored, but now it’s different. It’s more complicated than before, with thoughts like “I’m kind”, “I make mistakes”, “I need to fit in, but I want to be myself”, “I’m brave, but I get scared”, “I need help sometimes”, etc.

With her new sense of self, there is a place for conflicting beliefs to both be true. I LOVE THAT. Our guest preacher at church also discussed this topic this week, the ability to hold space for multiple feelings without one negating the other.

In my own life, I feel like I am constantly trying to find that balance with my anxiety. On one hand, a little anxiety drives me to care about things like my job, my friendships, or my safety doing outdoor activities. It’s productive. But, there are times when my anxiety tries to take the control center, and I have found myself out of touch with my values and losing my sense of self.

I recently found myself teetering on that balance point. Working 2 jobs and wanting to adventure and be true to my friends and church and make music and think about the future… and, and, and…. somedays, I lose touch with what actually matters to me.

Luckily, I have had a complex relationship with my anxiety for a long time, and I have done a crap-ton of therapy. So, whether it’s easy or not to actually implement, I DO know the answer (Pixar knew it too).

~ Acknowledge ALL the feelings and emotions ~

For me, it kinda looks like this …

1. Ground down into the moment. What am I even feeling?
   • My body is really tired. My motivation is low. My anxiety is high.
2. Acknowledge those feelings.
   • It makes sense I am tired and lacking motivation. I have been pushing too hard in too many directions this week. It also makes sense to have anxiety because I have a lot on my plate.
3. Make decisions based on my values.
   • I value being present and prepared for the commitments I make. I also value my own health and well-being.
   • I can work less extra shifts, say no to more plans, and remind myself its ok to decline some opportunities.
4. Giving myself grace if I mess it up.
   • I feel guilty about making commitments I couldn’t actually fulfill. That is not true to my values. I am not a perfect person, and that is OK too. I am learning.

Peice of cake, right? Ok. Maybe not. BUT, it is a place to start. And with that, I am going to take a nap now.

Lots of love,

Ashley